The Nabiac Midnight

The Nabiac Midnight is a bastard of a drink. Spawned in a drunken flight of fancy on a far flung rural property from a collection of the few liquids available, as far as cocktails go, this example is fairly ordinary. However, given the manner of its inception, its limited success is something to be lauded. Hence my publication and broadcast of it to the world. Ingredients and instructions are as follows.

1. Quarter glass of white coconut rum

2. Two nips of bourbon

3. Three quarter glass of carbonated cola.

Serve preferably chilled in a cocktail goblet.

The rum provides a sweetener that would be sickly, if not for the strong, mullifying, spiritual hand of the bourbon, reining in the rum’s dramatic excesses, and adding it’s own subtle nudge to the throat. The carbonated cola provides the mellow, lackadaisacal body of the drink, the extra-martial bed upon which the two liqours entwine. Do try it.

On Mortality

Whilst the rejoinder of one’s individual consciousness with the greater universe may prompt a sense of fear and disquiet there is no inherent and objective reason why this should be so.

Followers of determinism may draw solace from the belief that the infinitely complex sequence of events occurring before the fact, make the fact itself, both broadly speaking and within its specific frame of reference, inevitable. This is by no means without merit.

Followers of particular faith or theology may well draw a similar sense of comfort in the belief that there may in fact be a wonderful, comfortable and eternal chair resting in some supernatural realm, whereupon they can enjoy a serene and restful view of creation. Perhaps there may be a wise bearded fellow about, or tall winged blonde women with large bosoms. What this worldview lacks in logic, it more than makes up for in optimism and sentimental appeal.

Now, permit me a little whimsical, rhetorical meta-phrasing, for it is at about this point in the response where one surely asks oneself “What is the best way to view the phenomenon of death through an anarcho-dandyist perspective?”, or in more vain if not precise terms “What would the good Audacious Barrington Huxley etc. advise under these circumstances?”

The answer to this question is diabolically simple. If one takes the famous assertion of Sally Bowles as gospel, namely that “life is a cabaret”, the deep murky intricacies of existence become crystal clear. The curtain call must be seen as inescapable, and to a degree fortunate, for the rigours of the stage doth tax us all. With this in mind, the focus now shifts.

What we most focus on is our life, which may or may not be under our control. To return briefly once more to the ideology of determinism, the concept of free will may be a dicey one. Whilst improvisation on stage may be possible with the marvellously wonderful piece of chemical biology that is our brain, it is more than possible that all of our actions and dialogue may in fact be running to the script of a particularly pedantic playwright. Whether or not this is the case cannot at this stage be known, but regardless of facts, the impression that we are in fact agents of our own destiny does in fact impart one with a certain hope and reassurance.

Once again, despite yet another gnawing existential assertion, we must still live our lives. Returning once again to the extended cabaret metaphor our raison d’etre must, all things considered, be to acquit ourselves well upon life’s stage. If there is any meaning in life it must be to sing the most beautiful song, finger a sweet melody, dance with grace and panache, to carve out the most stunning stage presence that one can, and play an integral role in the plot of the narrative that we have chosen to take up, before the stain curtains of eternity glide effortlessly across the lacquered floorboards of our Earth, and the applause of an adoring audience sees us off stage.

My Manifesto

Greetings ladies and gentleman, this is a personal manifesto stating the main points of my own variety of Anarcho-Dandyism. Please state your opinions on the matter and I will then decide whether or not to send the document to major politicians and public figures inside and outside my country. Thank you kindly in advance.

1 Facilitate the re-introduction of Tweed back into the fabric of society. Tweed is both suave and practical. This empirical fact must be made known to the general public via large scale advertising campaigns. All government employees must wear Tweed. Special allowances to be made for emergency workers until fire and bulletproof Tweed is developed by the nation’s Tweed clad boffins.

2 Encourage the popular appraisal of facial hair. This includes, but is not limited to the moustache, mutton chops, goatee and fu manchu. All government employees are to cultivate orderly facial hair, moustache and beard grooming classes are to be instituted across all public schools. Special allowances to be made for women. Those lacking in masculinity to be supplied with government funded testosterone treatment plans.

3 Foster the consumption and appreciation of Gin. Gin is good for the soul and the intellect, and can turn even the most morose of boors into social marigolds. Gin is to be encouraged within all government workplaces, this applies especially to diplomats, ambassadors and ministers. Special allowances to be made for operators of heavy machinery. Teetotallers, especially those of a religious persuasion, must be informed of the error of their ways via well-dressed gin ambassadors at half past seven in the morning every Saturday.

4 Suitable hats to be made compulsory. Where once the hat was a tool of oppression, demarcating class distinction, it is now to be a tool to express personal flair and ward off skin damage. Government employees are to wear black bowlers with a white ribbon. The wearing of top hats, flat caps, berets and tricornes to be encouraged via large scale advertising campaigns.

5 Every Monday to be a public holiday. Monday is a beastly day. Let us nullify its effects.

6 All government places of employment, including but not limited to schools and parliament to start and finish later. A civilised human being does not wake before noon and is not seen before dusk. Nothing good happens before six o’clock pm. Special allowances to be made for emergency workers and the elderly.

7 The government must stop taking everything so seriously, including of course this manifesto. Life is a joke, and one only lives once. Therefore one must endeavour to live one’s life in a good spirits and humour. We are all comrades, united in the struggle against life’s daily and sometimes extra-ordinary hardships. When an individual is in strife, it’s rather a bother to us all, and the decent thing to do is to help that individual to the best of one’s own abilities. Let there be no more insulation. Let there be no more existential despair. Crush the crass dictatorship and let us languish together in a gin soaked, tweed clad utopia.